The Friend Zone. The place where no one wants to be. Urban Dictionary has several definitions for this term, the first one listed being:
What you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, “You’re such a good friend”. Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another. Verb tense is “Friend-ed”.Example:”I spent all that money on a date, just to find out she put me in the Friend Zone(said with eerie echo).”“You know that hot girl I’ve been talking to? She just Friend-ed me.”
Though this definition is spoken from a male perspective, everyone’s been there. Guys do it to girls. Girls do it to guys. I’ve done it. I’ve had it done to me. You’ve had it done to you and you’ve probably done it, too (you’re not always aware and if it hasn’t happened yet, it’s only a matter of time.) It’s part of the vicious cycle that is dating – the cycle we must all put up with until we find someone to love and tolerate for the rest of our lives.
Listen kids, I’m all about holding out hope for love and happiness. But, everyone’s gotta find that point at which they say, “alright… this isn’t going to happen and I’m going to have to continue on with my life.” It’s like that one saying goes: if you love something, you let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s meant to be and if not, GET F*CKING OVER IT!” I’m kidding. That was a little harsh. But the truth of the matter is, you can never find true, complete happiness through another person. You’ve gotta be a complete whole yourself. One + One = Two (a couple). Not a half + One… so, if you’re feeling empty: go eat an cookie, or take up a sport, or a hobby, or meditate or do something to find you. Don’t hold out for this one person who’s most likely not gonna come around.
Despite our desperate fantasies of the one we lust over having a realization that we, in fact, really are the one who can treat them better and give them everything they need, most of our stories don’t end up this way. If you’ve been put in the Friend Zone, it’s best to accept it sooner rather than later. The longer you stay in denial, the deeper you let the cut seep in and burn (or even worse – you allow it to “infect” your brain permanently and you become that crazy stalker that we hear about on the 10 o’clock news….)
If you’re the one placing someone in the Friend Zone, don’t get mad when their attention goes elsewhere because they get in a relationship or are interested in someone else. It’s not fair to leave them there and expect them to stay when you have no intention of giving them anything they’re looking for. Or, on the off-chance that their leaving your side makes you actually realize that you do in fact feel more for them than platonic comfort, make sure those feelings are real. Don’t go spoiling their happiness and wrecking their shot at something real for the sake of your selfishness. Everyone deserves to feel wanted and loved – and it goes both ways.
Moral of the story: The Friend Zone sucks. Move on quick whether it be from being placed in it, or directing another soul towards it. There’s something bigger, better, and more suited for you out there if this one doesn’t work out the way you wanted. I promise. And hey, would if it does end up working out down the line, isn’t it way better to be pleasantly surprised than terribly disappointed? Just saying.
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